Review: Bioshock Infinite

AGAIN?!?

 From the desk of the Pissed off Jade Fox:

...

I cant believe Im doing this again... Seriously. Youd think I would have better things to get pissed off about then comercials. But once again here I am with another rant... About a comercial.

RANT TIME 2

Ok, so once again I was watching videos on That guy with the Glasses ( Link here: CLICK ME!!!! I love them)

 and Blip now has commercials at the beginning, middle and END of each video.

 *Sigh*

 Ok, I can deal with that, seeing as it is free content.

Now the ad that has lead me here is for Gamestop (who I also love) and starts by showing a guy on his couch, with cheetos and milk on a stand next to him. He's looking at his game and sees something that, I guess, pleases him? Its a soccer game theyre promoting and I know dick about soccer, so Im guessing that its some good player or something.

But the man is over joyed, and in his glee does a full body... I guess the only word for it is spasm, in which he kicks over the stand, spilling cheetos and milk everywhere. They throw in their gobbledygook about the promotion, and then it cuts back to the guy just sitting there stunned about the player he saw.

Is this man retarded?

Don't get me wrong... Ive been excited before. I've even jumped up and do a little dance some time. (example) And yes, I have made a mess before. But my reaction afterwords isnt to sit and stare like an idiot at whatever made me happy. Its normally "Oh shit" and then frantecly running around to clean up my mess.

I know that, for comerciles, you should extend your suspension of disbelief, but after seeing it again, and again, and AGAIN, I get pissed at this man every time. Maybe Im the only one... Maybe Im reading too much into it...


But what if Im right?

Here's to "if"


~AZ

I

The internet in a picture...

Here's to wasting time.


-AZ

D

So for D today I think ill talk about Doug Walker, also know as The Nostalgia Critic.

Now a little back story here: I hadn't heard of Doug Walker, or the Nostalgia Critic until last year. I had seen the name mentioned a couple of times by other critics and reviewers, but I had never looked into him.

A phrase from one of his videos was cut into an AMV that I was watching, and I decided to follow up by watching a review he did. And, HOLY CRAP, I loved it. Doug takes older movies, from the 80s and 90s and reviews them, seeing if they hold up in this day, and age.

I find that his reviews are fairly accurate, and funny as hell. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. They make me look back at my childhood and remember the things I loved as a child. And even if he totally trashes the things I loved (or still love) I still look back with fond memories, and joy.

Doug, Mr. Walker, please keep up the good work. I enjoy every thing you do.

To watch Doug Walkers reviews, please visit http://thatguywiththeglasses.com

Here's to laughing.


-AZ

Rant Time

Ok. Time for another rant.
I have no problem with the advertisements being placed in web videos now. In fact, I like that YouTube even allows us to skip the longer ads. This is not what my rant is about.
My rant is about the ads they put. I was just watching the new Nostalgia Critic (www.thatguywiththeglasses.com) and they cut to commercials in the middle. Again, I am ok with this. But the damn commercials are so fucking dumb.
The first was a yogurt commercial and the first thing that happens is a mother telling her daughter "Why don't you go get us some Yoplett. FIRST OF ALL: Who the FUCK actually uses the brand names. Realistically the mother would say, "Hey, go get some yogurt." If you use the brand name, please don't reproduce... You have clearly been brainwashed by advertising.
SECONDLY (oh yes, I have more points) The kid takes forever and the mom just looks around and says "I have no idea where she could be."

... THIS. MOTHER. IS. HORRIBLE!

If your kid went missing in the store, the cops would be called even before you looked around. I know that its a horrible realization that our first opinion is that our kid has been abducted, but that's the age we live in. Hell, I worked in retail long enough to know that parents barley look for their kids before they come crying to the management about "Oh my kids gone missing." So, no. I do not believe that this mother would be, like, "Huh, where or where did my per-teen daughter, who I wont even let use Facebook by herself yet, wander off to in this giant store?"

NO SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF HERE ADVERTISER.

Now on to my last point, which, to be fair is just me nit picking, but, When did the Green Giant become no longer jolly?
When I was a kid it was the Jolly Green Giant. Now its just the Green Giant. Why is he not jolly anymore? What happened? Is it something we did? Is it because kids don't like vegetables, so now that Jolly Green Giant is sad?


I for one and sorry Mr. Giant, and would like to know how to make you happy once more.


That's it from me. Ill see y'all next time.

-AZ 

(To see a vlog of this rant, please visit my You Tube channel. http://www.youtube.com/user/JadeKitsune1?feature=mhee )