OI Gaming: Review Project X Zone

OI Gaming: Top 5 Scary Majora's Mask Moments

OI Gaming: Deadpool Review

Review: Injustice Gods among us

Review: Bioshock Infinite

Anime Review: Sword Art Online

Sword Art Online

 I am in, freaking, love with this anime. 

 

 Here is a quick synopsis of the first season.

In the near future, a Virtual Reality Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (VRMMORPG) called Sword Art Online has been released where players control their avatars with their bodies using a piece of technology called Nerve Gear. One day, players discover they cannot log out, as the game creator is holding them captive unless they reach the 100th floor of the game's tower and defeat the final boss. However, if they die in the game, they die in real life. Their struggle for survival starts now...

Kinda sounds like a fucked up version of the Matrix, only in anime form.

The show revolves around the player Kirito, a solo player who was in the beta for the game. He meets up with another player named Asuna (after a few filler episodes) and from there they grow closer as they try to get back to the real world… Or so you’d think. Sword Art Online is amazing in its character development, and story telling. I assumed that it would all be about getting to the final floor and getting home, but SAO is like, “Yeah, we’ve seen that before. Lets just make that a secondary concern.”

As Kirito and Asuna grow closer they meet up with others who have decided to live happily trapped in the game. They too make themselves happy in their virtual world, buying a house, getting married, having a kid (Ok, so not really, but THAT is a really emotional episode.)

The music is catchy, and the fight scenes are awesome.

 I will not tell you anymore. Just go watch Sword Art Online. I, for one, cannot wait to see more, and look forward to the next season.

Here’s a link to watch season one and two: http://www.crunchyroll.com/sword-art-online

Here’s to great anime

~AZ

Review: White Noise A Tale of Horror

Game Rieview: Heavy Rain

It's story time children. Last year, while I was working as a security guard, I had a bit of a scuffle. In the end, I won, the bad guy lost, but I had injured my knee, and had to take a month off. I had just been paid and so I hobbled over to my local Game Stop and purchased three games: Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, Devil May Cry 4, and Heavy Rain.

I got home, and popped in MW2. After playing 10 minutes online I told multiplayer to fuck off and popped in DMC 4. That lasted me about an hour before I decided to play this game I had heard little about, but was interested enough to buy. Heavy Rain.

It started a bit slow. I had to wake my character up, have him shower, put on clothes, blah, blah, blah... It was a lot like a life sim, where I just had my character do everyday stuff. It was about as exciting as the story I told you in the above paragraph...

Then [ Spoiler Alert ] (but to be fair, it has been out for 2 years.) your kid dies.

Wow...

I mean, in this world of political correctness, having a kid die in the opening hour of a game. Quantic Dream, you... got... ballz!

I started playing at 5pm, and finally had to take a break at the half way point around 1am. The next day, I turned it on and played through the rest of the game.

Now Ive heard a lot of people rip on how "It's not really a game." or "All you do is Quick Time Events." Which is true. But I found that it added to the tension of the game. It was really hard to have to hold cretin buttons when trying to pull a gun on a guy. But then when you think about it, your guy DOESN'T want to be doing this. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, but if he does not complete the "mission" he is on, his other kid will die.

 When you have to hold down three buttons, and then use the control stick to saw off your fucking finger, I feel like I'm there.

It is amazing how immersed I got in this game. I WANTED to finish the game. I WANTED to save my kid. And in the end, when I got the bad ending and EVERYONE DIED, I felt as if I failed.

I love this fucking game.

If you haven't played it yet, go out and try it.

Quantic Dream has a new game coming out next year called Beyond: Two Souls, and I will be per-ordering it.

As I'm getting ready to finish up here I just realized I never told you all what kind of game Heavy Rain is. But you know what, I'm not going to. If you have a PS3, go play it. If you don't, then watch a Lets Play online or something, but please, experience this game in some way.

Here's to great games.

~AZ

Game Review: Never Dead

*Sigh*

 I try to keep an open mind when it comes to games. I mean, I play a lot of them, and they cant ALL be fantastic. Though, to be perfectly honest I think that's kinda bullshit. If you're going to spend years making a game, why not make it great?

But I digress.

Never Dead is a game released earlier this year by Rebellion Developments. The game is based around a man named Bryce, who was cursed by Astaroth, the King of the Demons, to never die.
 So you can tell the developers really worked hard on the name.
 Bryce now works for the government in modern day, to destroy demons, and get bossed around by a blond. (I cant remember her name because, well, shes really annoying and I hated her by the end of the game.)

The main gimmick of the game is that Bryce dose not die. Instead he loses his arms and legs and even his head. If that happens, you have to roll around to your body parts and *ahem* Pull yourself together.

 You can also pull off your arms and throw them with guns, meaning you can shoot. You cant kill anything, you can just shoot.

There are also puzzles where you pull your head off and use it to solve puzzles. The only problem with that is that there are little monsters that eat your head and if you don't win a quick time event it's game over. Also, Bryce never SHUTS THE FUCK UP when hes a head, and will spout the same lines over and over and over again as you roll around. Seriously, he says the same fucking line every five seconds. "Rollin, rollin, rollin. Hope this doesn't mess up my hair. Ive got a headache."
 SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!

 There are plenty of good game elements here, but they are all handled poorly. You switch form guns, to swordplay...

Wait a minuet... That sounds familiar... Ill think of it, hang on...

Anyway, you fight demons, with a fast pace, with random rock music swelling up whenever the monsters pop up, and then fading to silence when all are... gone... Huh...

OH! I know! Its like Devil May Cry!

I'm serious. This game wants to be Devil May Cry so bad that it hurts. Bryce's character tries to be Dante so hard that it passes the line of homage, and turns into a horrible parody of him.

Never Dead isn't a good game. The voice acting is lame. When the token damsel in distress (who knows NOTHING about Bryce at this time) shouts the line "I HOPE YOU ARE CURSED FOREVER!" I cringe. Seriously? Cant they write like people actually speak?

This game made me want to take a nap after every chapter. And that is never a good thing to say about a game.


Until next time, keep on gaming.

Here's to gaming.

~AZ

Ninja Cowboys...

Why is this not a more popular thing!!!!

AGAIN?!?

 From the desk of the Pissed off Jade Fox:

...

I cant believe Im doing this again... Seriously. Youd think I would have better things to get pissed off about then comercials. But once again here I am with another rant... About a comercial.

RANT TIME 2

Ok, so once again I was watching videos on That guy with the Glasses ( Link here: CLICK ME!!!! I love them)

 and Blip now has commercials at the beginning, middle and END of each video.

 *Sigh*

 Ok, I can deal with that, seeing as it is free content.

Now the ad that has lead me here is for Gamestop (who I also love) and starts by showing a guy on his couch, with cheetos and milk on a stand next to him. He's looking at his game and sees something that, I guess, pleases him? Its a soccer game theyre promoting and I know dick about soccer, so Im guessing that its some good player or something.

But the man is over joyed, and in his glee does a full body... I guess the only word for it is spasm, in which he kicks over the stand, spilling cheetos and milk everywhere. They throw in their gobbledygook about the promotion, and then it cuts back to the guy just sitting there stunned about the player he saw.

Is this man retarded?

Don't get me wrong... Ive been excited before. I've even jumped up and do a little dance some time. (example) And yes, I have made a mess before. But my reaction afterwords isnt to sit and stare like an idiot at whatever made me happy. Its normally "Oh shit" and then frantecly running around to clean up my mess.

I know that, for comerciles, you should extend your suspension of disbelief, but after seeing it again, and again, and AGAIN, I get pissed at this man every time. Maybe Im the only one... Maybe Im reading too much into it...


But what if Im right?

Here's to "if"


~AZ

R

Riddle time.

I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?

Check out my next blog for the answer. ^_^

Here's to thinking.

~AZ

P

So for those of you who don't know yet, I'm trying to become a game reviewer/critic. Its much harder then it seems though. So today, for the letter P, I'm going to talk about my current project.

My Drunk @$$ Reviews.

his all started when I was playing a game that I really had fun with, Little Big Planet. My friend and I started at 5pm, and played until midnight. I loved the game, for its overly cute theme, to the dark and scary tones it could take. Even the player made content was great.

But I noticed that as the night went on, and I got more and more drinks into me, that my opinion was changing. It started off as "WEEEE This is fun," to "Why does this game make me want to punch puppies?" I was fairly drunk by the end of the night, and I was screaming at the TV screen, more then I was playing. It made me laugh when I thought about it.

So I decided to launch a project, based on the idea that, no matter how fin the game is, we all have different opinions about it after knocking a few back.

 I love doing comedy, and I think that it will be fun.

If you'd like to see more, or support my endeavors, please visit my Kickstarter page. 

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1820730850/my-drunk-reviews?ref=email

Until next time. Here's to trying to make it happen.

~AZ

K

Katawa Shoujo

Becoming a more known game over the internet recently, Katawa Shoujo is a visual novel about a young boy who has a heart attack and ends up going to a special school for people with special needs. The girls in the school have are very sweet, and, as the preview states, just as normal as any other student.

What I like about this game is it makes people look past the superficial, and look at who we all really are.


I'm helping with a fan dub of this great game and I hope you will all watch, or play, and enjoy the experience.

Here's to being happy, no matter what

-AZ



*edit* This didn't post yesterday, and I still don't know why.

G

Game review.


Like I said in my first blog, I am not a good game reviewer. I try though, so I think I get effort points. ^_^

So today I'm going to talk about a game that I love, even though it made me want to break my PS3.

Shadow of the Colossus.

For those of you who haven't played this game here is a quick summery. You are a daring young man who brings the love of his life (who is very much dead) to a mystic land to make a deal with an entrapped demon. The demon agrees to resurrect her, but you have to kill the sixteen giant monsters that roam the land. You, being in love, agree to this, and ride off on your loyal horse to go kill these beasts.


The majority of the game you spend riding across the empty landscape, holding your sword aloft so the light reflect off it and points you to your next Colossus. The rest of the game is the fight between the huge monsters, switching between frantic combat, and puzzle platforming as you crawl across the colossus like a flea. And that's it. You ride your horse, then fight a monster. Ride your horse, then fight a monster.

AND ITS FUCKING AMAZING!

I'm not sure if I am the minority on this, but I love the boss fights in games. It's my favorite part of the game. Shadow is ALL BOSS FIGHTS! Each Colossus is different and unique. The all have some similarity to real creatures, from birds, to bulls, to snakes. Each one looks like its been sleeping for years, and are waking up because you are there. The puzzles get harder, as do the monsters, but to a level that you can handle.

Now the reason I almost broke my PS3. THE FUCKING CAMERA! I swear, the only reason I ever died in that game is because the camera would not move the way I wanted. The final Colossus being a cacophony of fucks as I couldn't see what the hell I was doing. Just ask my aunt, and her two young children.


So all in all its a great game and I suggest you play it. Shadow of the Colossus is available on PS2 and the HD collection is on PS3. Pick it up. You wont be disappointed.

Here's to gaming.


-AZ

Mascots

What the hell happened to Sonic the Hedgehog?

This guy was on top of the world, rivaling Mario... MARIO! Sonic was way more awesome then Mario (This is the opinion section of my rant.) he had cooler power ups, a way more awesome design, and he was FAST! Mario could only jog at a steady pace. Sonic went from 0 to 60 in only a few seconds. WAY COOLER THEN A STUPID FAT-ASS!

But I ask again, what happened? Over the years Mario has been getting bigger and bigger, while Sonic has just been making ends meet. How can Mario remake the same fucking game over, and over, and over, BUT Sonic does it and gets Crucified. Sonic tries something new... and gets slaughtered. Sonic follows that fat fucks example, and gets called a cheap rip off.

They both even had failed cartoons. Who else here remembers The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, and The Super Mario Brothers Super Show... THEY BOTH SUCKED ASS! But Sonic actually came back with a GREAT cartoon, Sonic SAT AM. and is still making some good cartoons, like Sonic X.

I want to see a world where Sonic and Mario switch places. Sonic could be making Sonic Galaxy 2, while Mario is making Super Mario and the Black Knight. The question not being, would Sonic do better, no no no... I want to see if I would still like Sonic, or if Id be in Mario's camp.




Here's to wondering.

See ya around.

-AZ

Ambiance

I'm not a game reviewer, and if i ever tried to be one, I'm sure that id be fired for my grammar and writing skills before i even got hired. But I still like to talk about them. So I'm going to talk today about the Horror genre in videogames. Why you ask... Because I'm sitting outside right now, it's 2 am, and a thick fog has rolled in over my site.

I remember the first game that scared the living hell out of me. I was about 13 and by buddy Steven came over to spend the night. With him he brought Resident Evil 2.

 We stayed up all night, just trying to get to the end. We didn't that night, mostly because every time something jumped out, or some zombie finally ate our brains, we had to take an hour break to get up the nerve to play again. As the sun rose, I sat in my chair, looking out the window, and thinking to myself "I did it. A game will never scare me again."

Then, in 2005, I bought a game that I had heard nothing but good things about. Silent Hill 2.

 A game that I wanted so bad I put myself 20 more dollars into debt. I took it home. It was a hot, sunny May afternoon. My door stood open to let the cool breeze flow through, and I heard children laughing in the street. I plugged SH2 into my xbox and hit start. As the opening movie rolled I got totally immersed. I started to play. 15 minuets later I reached the first save spot, saved, and turned the game off, thoroughly shaken. I hadn't even gotten into the story line, I hadn't had an epic boss battle, I hadn't even faced a single enemy, and yet I couldn't go on.

Months later I eventually finished the game, and felt pride as the end credits ran. But what had me so shaken to begin with?

It was the one thing that most "horror" games now lack.

Ambiance.

The subtle things that make you feel utterly alone and vulnerable. A creepy shadow here, a sound there. Little things that just get in your head and have an orgy in the fear section of your brain.

Most "horror" games now cant even give you a little spook, let alone the feeling that the shambling creature on screen will somehow for-go your player character, and reach through the screen. What happened? I hope that with the next gen games, we can get back to what once was.

 Thanks for reading.

-AZ