Merry Christmas.

I really don't care what people say. Ive been saying Merry Christmas my whole life, and Im not going to stop. ^_^

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL. 

 Here's to a happy new year

~AZ

Game Rieview: Heavy Rain

It's story time children. Last year, while I was working as a security guard, I had a bit of a scuffle. In the end, I won, the bad guy lost, but I had injured my knee, and had to take a month off. I had just been paid and so I hobbled over to my local Game Stop and purchased three games: Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, Devil May Cry 4, and Heavy Rain.

I got home, and popped in MW2. After playing 10 minutes online I told multiplayer to fuck off and popped in DMC 4. That lasted me about an hour before I decided to play this game I had heard little about, but was interested enough to buy. Heavy Rain.

It started a bit slow. I had to wake my character up, have him shower, put on clothes, blah, blah, blah... It was a lot like a life sim, where I just had my character do everyday stuff. It was about as exciting as the story I told you in the above paragraph...

Then [ Spoiler Alert ] (but to be fair, it has been out for 2 years.) your kid dies.

Wow...

I mean, in this world of political correctness, having a kid die in the opening hour of a game. Quantic Dream, you... got... ballz!

I started playing at 5pm, and finally had to take a break at the half way point around 1am. The next day, I turned it on and played through the rest of the game.

Now Ive heard a lot of people rip on how "It's not really a game." or "All you do is Quick Time Events." Which is true. But I found that it added to the tension of the game. It was really hard to have to hold cretin buttons when trying to pull a gun on a guy. But then when you think about it, your guy DOESN'T want to be doing this. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, but if he does not complete the "mission" he is on, his other kid will die.

 When you have to hold down three buttons, and then use the control stick to saw off your fucking finger, I feel like I'm there.

It is amazing how immersed I got in this game. I WANTED to finish the game. I WANTED to save my kid. And in the end, when I got the bad ending and EVERYONE DIED, I felt as if I failed.

I love this fucking game.

If you haven't played it yet, go out and try it.

Quantic Dream has a new game coming out next year called Beyond: Two Souls, and I will be per-ordering it.

As I'm getting ready to finish up here I just realized I never told you all what kind of game Heavy Rain is. But you know what, I'm not going to. If you have a PS3, go play it. If you don't, then watch a Lets Play online or something, but please, experience this game in some way.

Here's to great games.

~AZ

Game Review: Never Dead

*Sigh*

 I try to keep an open mind when it comes to games. I mean, I play a lot of them, and they cant ALL be fantastic. Though, to be perfectly honest I think that's kinda bullshit. If you're going to spend years making a game, why not make it great?

But I digress.

Never Dead is a game released earlier this year by Rebellion Developments. The game is based around a man named Bryce, who was cursed by Astaroth, the King of the Demons, to never die.
 So you can tell the developers really worked hard on the name.
 Bryce now works for the government in modern day, to destroy demons, and get bossed around by a blond. (I cant remember her name because, well, shes really annoying and I hated her by the end of the game.)

The main gimmick of the game is that Bryce dose not die. Instead he loses his arms and legs and even his head. If that happens, you have to roll around to your body parts and *ahem* Pull yourself together.

 You can also pull off your arms and throw them with guns, meaning you can shoot. You cant kill anything, you can just shoot.

There are also puzzles where you pull your head off and use it to solve puzzles. The only problem with that is that there are little monsters that eat your head and if you don't win a quick time event it's game over. Also, Bryce never SHUTS THE FUCK UP when hes a head, and will spout the same lines over and over and over again as you roll around. Seriously, he says the same fucking line every five seconds. "Rollin, rollin, rollin. Hope this doesn't mess up my hair. Ive got a headache."
 SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!

 There are plenty of good game elements here, but they are all handled poorly. You switch form guns, to swordplay...

Wait a minuet... That sounds familiar... Ill think of it, hang on...

Anyway, you fight demons, with a fast pace, with random rock music swelling up whenever the monsters pop up, and then fading to silence when all are... gone... Huh...

OH! I know! Its like Devil May Cry!

I'm serious. This game wants to be Devil May Cry so bad that it hurts. Bryce's character tries to be Dante so hard that it passes the line of homage, and turns into a horrible parody of him.

Never Dead isn't a good game. The voice acting is lame. When the token damsel in distress (who knows NOTHING about Bryce at this time) shouts the line "I HOPE YOU ARE CURSED FOREVER!" I cringe. Seriously? Cant they write like people actually speak?

This game made me want to take a nap after every chapter. And that is never a good thing to say about a game.


Until next time, keep on gaming.

Here's to gaming.

~AZ

Ninja Cowboys...

Why is this not a more popular thing!!!!

AGAIN?!?

 From the desk of the Pissed off Jade Fox:

...

I cant believe Im doing this again... Seriously. Youd think I would have better things to get pissed off about then comercials. But once again here I am with another rant... About a comercial.

RANT TIME 2

Ok, so once again I was watching videos on That guy with the Glasses ( Link here: CLICK ME!!!! I love them)

 and Blip now has commercials at the beginning, middle and END of each video.

 *Sigh*

 Ok, I can deal with that, seeing as it is free content.

Now the ad that has lead me here is for Gamestop (who I also love) and starts by showing a guy on his couch, with cheetos and milk on a stand next to him. He's looking at his game and sees something that, I guess, pleases him? Its a soccer game theyre promoting and I know dick about soccer, so Im guessing that its some good player or something.

But the man is over joyed, and in his glee does a full body... I guess the only word for it is spasm, in which he kicks over the stand, spilling cheetos and milk everywhere. They throw in their gobbledygook about the promotion, and then it cuts back to the guy just sitting there stunned about the player he saw.

Is this man retarded?

Don't get me wrong... Ive been excited before. I've even jumped up and do a little dance some time. (example) And yes, I have made a mess before. But my reaction afterwords isnt to sit and stare like an idiot at whatever made me happy. Its normally "Oh shit" and then frantecly running around to clean up my mess.

I know that, for comerciles, you should extend your suspension of disbelief, but after seeing it again, and again, and AGAIN, I get pissed at this man every time. Maybe Im the only one... Maybe Im reading too much into it...


But what if Im right?

Here's to "if"


~AZ

Reboot

Ok, so if you read my blog, you may have seen my happy birthday salute to Sailor Moon, which turned 20 this year. If you haven't, here's a link: http://jadekitsune42.blogspot.com/2012/03/happy-20th.html

Go read it, its great.... (I hope)



So in that review I stated that Sailor Moon is in need of a reboot. Its been 20 years, and they rebooted other series in less time then that.

Well guess what? They're doing it. As of 2013, Sailor Moon is getting a reboot. Que the applause and cheering.

And as happy as I am, I have to wonder just a few things. Things like:










What art style will they use?

Are they bringing back any of the original cast?

Will there be Fan Service?















And many more questions. Sailor Moon is one of my all time favorite animes, and Im really looking forward to it coming back. I know it wasn't me, but...

Hell, I am going to take credit for it. 

 

THAT'S RIGHT. I The Jade Fox brought about the reboot of Sailor Moon. It was all me, you can thank me however you like. I especially like booze and cash.

Just kidding readers.

I hope you are all as excited as I am.

Here's to wishes being granted

~AZ

Get Psyched Mix

You need to get psyched, I got the mix for you.



1. Dancing with myself- Billy Idol
2. Paradise City- Guns N' Roses
3. You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi
4. Don't Stop Believing- Journey
5. Dr, Feelgood- Motley Crue
6. Don't Stop Me Now- Queen
7. Round and Round- Ratt
8. Renegade- Styx
9. Rock you like a Hurricane- The Scorpions
10. Thunderstruck- AC/DC
11. Tom Sawyer- Rush
12. I Wanna Rock- Twisted Sister
13. Panama- Van Halen

Youre welcome world ^_^

R

Riddle time.

I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?

Check out my next blog for the answer. ^_^

Here's to thinking.

~AZ

Q

Interactive blog today. I want to know what makes you Quirky?

Leave a comment, I'm interested to hear what comes up. ^_^


Here's to quirkiness.

~AZ

P

So for those of you who don't know yet, I'm trying to become a game reviewer/critic. Its much harder then it seems though. So today, for the letter P, I'm going to talk about my current project.

My Drunk @$$ Reviews.

his all started when I was playing a game that I really had fun with, Little Big Planet. My friend and I started at 5pm, and played until midnight. I loved the game, for its overly cute theme, to the dark and scary tones it could take. Even the player made content was great.

But I noticed that as the night went on, and I got more and more drinks into me, that my opinion was changing. It started off as "WEEEE This is fun," to "Why does this game make me want to punch puppies?" I was fairly drunk by the end of the night, and I was screaming at the TV screen, more then I was playing. It made me laugh when I thought about it.

So I decided to launch a project, based on the idea that, no matter how fin the game is, we all have different opinions about it after knocking a few back.

 I love doing comedy, and I think that it will be fun.

If you'd like to see more, or support my endeavors, please visit my Kickstarter page. 

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1820730850/my-drunk-reviews?ref=email

Until next time. Here's to trying to make it happen.

~AZ

O

O is for... oops. I forgot to blog yesterday... sorry.

Here's to forgiveness...

~AZ

N

Now for an anime review. Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Please don't get me wrong. I really like this anime.

Its got epic battles,

 an interesting story line,

and some fan service, but not enough to distract from everything else.




 




All that aside, it isn't the BEST anime out there. I know I might piss a few people off saying this, but I think that it could be a lot better.

Now before you all start lining up to throw rocks at my house, let me clarify.

Its not that its a bad anime. I just think that there are a few tweaks. It gets really preachy, has episodes that go no where, and an antagonist that needs to either grow some balls, or shut the hell up.

Seriously. Any time Shinji (The main character) starts to whine about.... well, fucking ANYTHING, I go straight to the liquor cabinet. Odds are, by the time Ive finished my third shot, he will finally be done bitching.

When I first saw NGE I thought Oh cool! A giant mech anime that isn't Gundam! and even in the first episode, I got to see a giant monster thing wrecking Japans shit. AWESOME...

Then I got, what, three episodes of exposition? I remember thinking that the next fight better be awesome, or I'm gong to lose it. The next fight came, and it was... just okay...

To be perfectly honest, at that time I stopped watching. It wasn't until a few years later, that I went back and finished watching the series.

I'm all for an artistic anime, with a message, but I think NGE just took it too far. Its not a bad anime, mind, but its not the greatest. Ive heard that they rebooted, and I haven't had a chance to watch the new stuff, so maybe they fixed a lot. Ill let you know what I think when I see it, but to be honest, I'm not that amped to go sit through it. The first series sapped that out of me.

Ok, there's my 2 cents. You may now start spamming me with hate mail. I will still love you.

Here's to anime

-AZ  

M

M is for Mmmmmmm. Because Im hungry and I want pizza.

Here's to good food

-AZ

L

A bit of self promotion today.

Overactive Imagination:
 LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!



Here's to playing around.



-AZ

K

Katawa Shoujo

Becoming a more known game over the internet recently, Katawa Shoujo is a visual novel about a young boy who has a heart attack and ends up going to a special school for people with special needs. The girls in the school have are very sweet, and, as the preview states, just as normal as any other student.

What I like about this game is it makes people look past the superficial, and look at who we all really are.


I'm helping with a fan dub of this great game and I hope you will all watch, or play, and enjoy the experience.

Here's to being happy, no matter what

-AZ



*edit* This didn't post yesterday, and I still don't know why.

J

Today I learned a new word.

Juxtaposition.

The definition is an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, especially for comparison or contrast.

I hope I can find a way to use it in everyday speech.

Here's to sounding smart

-AZ

I

The internet in a picture...

Here's to wasting time.


-AZ

H

May favorite How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) Quote

Barney: You’re the most awesome person I’ve ever met. Well, second.
Robin: Right, first being you.
Barney: No, actually, it’s this guy I know who lives in something called the mirror. What up?

Here's to laughing

-AZ

Happy Easter One and All

G

Game review.


Like I said in my first blog, I am not a good game reviewer. I try though, so I think I get effort points. ^_^

So today I'm going to talk about a game that I love, even though it made me want to break my PS3.

Shadow of the Colossus.

For those of you who haven't played this game here is a quick summery. You are a daring young man who brings the love of his life (who is very much dead) to a mystic land to make a deal with an entrapped demon. The demon agrees to resurrect her, but you have to kill the sixteen giant monsters that roam the land. You, being in love, agree to this, and ride off on your loyal horse to go kill these beasts.


The majority of the game you spend riding across the empty landscape, holding your sword aloft so the light reflect off it and points you to your next Colossus. The rest of the game is the fight between the huge monsters, switching between frantic combat, and puzzle platforming as you crawl across the colossus like a flea. And that's it. You ride your horse, then fight a monster. Ride your horse, then fight a monster.

AND ITS FUCKING AMAZING!

I'm not sure if I am the minority on this, but I love the boss fights in games. It's my favorite part of the game. Shadow is ALL BOSS FIGHTS! Each Colossus is different and unique. The all have some similarity to real creatures, from birds, to bulls, to snakes. Each one looks like its been sleeping for years, and are waking up because you are there. The puzzles get harder, as do the monsters, but to a level that you can handle.

Now the reason I almost broke my PS3. THE FUCKING CAMERA! I swear, the only reason I ever died in that game is because the camera would not move the way I wanted. The final Colossus being a cacophony of fucks as I couldn't see what the hell I was doing. Just ask my aunt, and her two young children.


So all in all its a great game and I suggest you play it. Shadow of the Colossus is available on PS2 and the HD collection is on PS3. Pick it up. You wont be disappointed.

Here's to gaming.


-AZ